Tumbling Worlds

you can find love...by =JeanFan

http://jeanfan.deviantart.com/

There are many reasons and relations which drive a person to do what they do. But sometimes, you do have to ask, why does someone go through so much suffering for someone else?

Nalis, for example, had worked overseas successfully a few times, until she was raped the last time, and got pregnant. Soon after delivering the baby safely and getting back on her feet, she still wishes to go out of her own country to find work. This is despite having earned enough to buy a house, a motorbike, a small coffee plantation lot, and providing for her family's needs, including that of her own mother, and her only child. Why is she continuing to put herself at risk, even to the point of being sent to a country in conflict like Iraq or Syria?

Preiya, on the other hand, did not fare so well. She has two children, and they stay at home on an island different from that of her parents. Unfortunately, she got raped, became pregnant, was burned and became horribly disfigured. After safely delivering the baby, she still had to undergo months and months of corrective surgery, physio-therapy, and very many injections (each follow-up visit she gets about 30 injections at a time, directly under her skin, on the areas which were severely burned). She doesn’t want go home, because she is afraid her husband would divorce her once he knows about her condition. Despite not being able to see her kids, she resolves to stay in Jakarta instead to earn a living and start anew, scarred and all.

What gives? What motivates them? Nalis apparently is given little choice but to continue to search for work overseas by her own parents. On the other hand, Preiya has developed affections elsewhere other than her own family, all apparently in search of a better life. Both of them are motivated by the interests of other persons, outside of themselves. But these motivations continue to influence their lives beyond their overt intentions.

Instead of being able to choose to work in a safe environment, Nalis is forced to face the demons that plagued her, to face the same or greater risks as before, because she did not tell her parents of her rape and pregnancy. When her new relationships start to sour, Preiya finds herself afloat on a sea of turbulent emotions, as her emotionally disowned family no longer provides her the emotional anchor that she needs to face a world of difficulties.

All this points to the fact that for them, their previous worlds, their previous reference points and safe places, have been challenged, changed, or even come tumbling down. Either by indirect deception, or outright selfish change of loyalty, they both sowed the seeds for their future downfalls. And sometimes, in the name of shortsighted mercy, they may have been aided to these unfortunate ends.

The lack of transparency in dealing with their families, their dependents and the ones they depend on, have caused Nalis and Preiya to be led to false conclusions about their best

interests. Rightly or wrongly, but often without a proper sense of balance, due to love and care given unconditionally yet misunderstood, they feel coerced or justified in their decisions.

Therefore, they have inadvertently taken on the interest of others at the cost of their own integrity, freedom, and safety, values of which were not created by or inherent in they themselves, but were created together in the relationships that they had built up. Without such relationships, for them the world is either a cruel master, or one has to be cruel to master the world.

Is there anyone to blame? Perhaps they are the victims of consequences. Perhaps not. For to achieve transparency in their relationships implies that exists already a strong sense of acceptance, mindfulness, and care for each other that comes on the bedrock of love. And such love, if not examined and nurtured, remains stunted and unable to reach such heights of humanity. Without the courage to care for the loves in their lives, Nalis and Preiya could be accused of undermining their own lives. But indeed, is such knowledge common to everyone? Would any other person automatically be able to discern such a difficult course of action to be taken in their own lives? Maybe not.

Life and love are never constant, and never replaceable - only misplaced, ignored, or abused. Life and love, is not about exploitation, but enjoyment, together with others, and embracing all the change that living brings. The lesson here, then, is to let love be the chief aim of all endeavours in life, for any other intention often leads to ends which we cannot predict, and which we do not want. For to avoid the crumbling of our lives, we would necessarily always be wary and work towards building and shaping up the fluid situation of our worlds of relations which we live in. Therefore, live, love, not just for yourselves, but always for others.